To Make You Feel My Love - Bob Dylan
Never in a million years did I think I would be able to use this song. This morning I realized I could. I knew immediately what I wanted to video with it. I got in my car and headed to this spot. Unfortunately the batteries in my camera died. I headed back home as quickly as I could and returned again to capture a once a year event with these blossoms.
I then loaded my video and said a small prayer that the song was still available to me. It was. While waiting for all to come together, I started to think about this very day last year. Then it hit me. May 4, 2012 I was so scared about the possible lose of all I have worked for my entire life, I almost took my own life. WHY WOULD I TELL YOU THIS? Because I believe I AM MEANT TO. Over 30% of LGBT young consider suicide and the greater number of suicides carried out later in life is men in their 40's. It is not hard for me to understand why I went through all I have since I started on YouTube in 2009. My channel called megchristianfan has had 95,000 views since starting. The channels only show in the 30 thousands now because over the years I have deleted many posts for reasons I am not going to explain. The fact remains that 95,000 views were made and I believe enjoyed by many. More importantly, I want to believe HELPED others cope with the world's discrimination even today. My motivation at the start was to help myself cope and later to help anyone I could. I have only blocked one person from any channel I have over the years and that was because that person used very bad language in their comments. I will not stand for that.
Over the past 4 years there still are deaths, bullying, mocking, negative comments, discrimination in the work place and rights withheld. We aren't to the end of this struggle yet. Even when the Supreme Court makes their rulings on Prop8 and DOMA next month, it will be years and years until everyone is treated as they should be. I am proud as hell to have tried to help in what I call my golden years. If you think I am bad now imagine if I had started this in my younger years.
Of course, I am not allowing comments on the post as that would be somewhat difficult to handle for me and to my good friends I ask we not discuss this matter. I am fine but want to do this for more important reasons than myself.
What happened that day last year? At the very last moment I decided to wait for the happening which I feared was coming my way. I came back home and went about the day doing some volunteer work and after that I went and spoke with someone about 'some' of my concerns. He was a good listener. Now here I am one year to the day later and loving being able to post this beautiful music and video. By doing so may help prevent someone else from making the mistake of their life. Life is precious and we can get through anything. One piece of advice would be - Do Not Try & Get Through Rough Times Yourself.
I have had a wonderful year since that terrible day. Please think a million times before you ever do something as stupid as I almost did.
Bob Dylan wrote this song in 1997. I remember reading something he said in the late 60's about rock and roll music. He felt more drawn to folk music vs rock and roll because he felt it had so much more meaning. I know he was right. His birthday is May 24th.
Thank you Mr. Dylan and Happy Birthday.
LOVE Maggie
p.s. Dear Bob, I know how loved you are but today 11/23/13 the views on your song (here) now exceeds the total views for the first Meg Christian song posted to YouTube. The song is Sweet Darlin' Woman. My aim was to try and help her music (and other women's music) to be heard. While I love the numbers and your song...I love Meg Christian's music ( & others) even more. I still have hopes for that goal.
